Could it be there are people like him... i think ya. Goin thru my old text from day 1.... Bringing back all the memories of 2 years, our 2 years and still counting.
It's been cuckoo & weirdo, zip-up zip down, in-out, with -without moments..
He was the reason of this. He was the one who change it all for me. He was the one who gave me the courage. He was the one supporting me unselfishly. He was the one who help me decide my path. HE was the one... For ME to love and who loves me back.
To every girl, their bf are the perfect person as what i believe. He is the 2nd serious relationship for me. Everything might sounds cliche and makes me sound like a naive girl believing in everything.
Of course i believe in love. Sumtimes it is just a very simple thing, but there are people who likes to make it complicated to make it 'interesting', more like tiring to me. That is my point of view where people will usually laugh at thoughts like that and will say it to u straight in the face that there are no such things.
WEll, to say it's perfect of course nothing is perfect. there are times when things happen which actually hurts and brings back all the old memories of being deceived by the person who you give it all in a relationship and just to be broken like that... there are times when this feelings just come crashing through the door. has been a few incidents and there were explanations of logic of cuz and with proof (i think) nvrmind but it was over. He may not know it i guess. He is friendly to all ladies who at times might take it wrongly or shown wrongly to me, but one thing it has taught me. Never jump to conclusions and it has help me so far... it is unfair to him still cuz there are times where i judge his actions with reasons from the past. Still trying to block that out and accepting the fact that not all guys are the same. Im really sorry bout that... I'll work more on that.
Sumtimes i wish i do not know everything.. it hurts a lot eventho it's the past but to him, it's ok its been forgiven and things are like normal. That is really one thing i still cant do it. Forgive yes, Forget, NO. It's not like i have done anything wrong to him.... it just that ya, he is 'd' but still seems to be close to her... i know he is that kind of person, but i cant really accept tht yet i guess, cuz he never told me bout it thats y. found out on my own n i juz bottle it up. I wish i haven seen it. There are things which i know that i dun think he know i knew. I juz wish that it'll all be settle or maybe i have sum memory loss...
That is the only nagging part in here.....and the mum part when she is in a bad mood. It poke right thru the heart sumtimes...
Other wise, he is more than everything to me.... There are times... (ok many many times) i did doodle my name with his surname, u know to see how it's like. And many times where i day dream where that One day, the Special day will finally happen. saying 'I do' and be sealed together. How i have wanted that so badly that is aches sumtimes... He was the one that makes me look forward to next day because i'll get to see him again. The eraser of my worries, the one who help me keep my mind sane and take my breath away... There are so many things that i want to do together with him, growing old together for one.
i may not have big dreams in life cuz to me love is the most important i see (despite my mum's protest) but i want to help him make his dream big. Like what he alwiz say, seeing u happy makes me happier it goes the same with me, Hunnie. U're my sole reason for staying sane in this mad world of all kinds of people... I want to go thru life with you, hard times or good times all full-stop. I know the reality of life, im sticking by ur side. As long as u'll never hurt me in anyway, My wishes are simple but our lives together will definitley be exciting....
Im writing this in a very very sane practical thinking mood and not in a lovesick way for my own memoir and do not care about anybody's judgement and critics.
Huh Huhh Huhhh
